The great and renowned gaon, Rabbi Akiva Eiger, posed this question and gives a most insightful answer.

Prior to reciting the Shma we say the blessing of Ahava Rabba, which extols the boundless love G-d has for His chosen nation.

With an abundant love have You loved us, our G-d, with a compassion that is great and exceeding have you shown compassion to us...

Blessed are You, G-d, Who chooses His people Israel with love.  

We preface Shma with the assertion of G-d’s absolute love for us, because it is that reality that generates our ultimate love for Him. It indeed is not a command but rather a natural outgrowth of His love for us.

The saintly grandson of the Holy Baal Shem Tov, Reb Boruch of Mezibuz, directs us to the verse in Mishlei that teaches that feelings of love are reciprocal; to the level one sincerely loves another so does that other than naturally develop a mutual love.

כמים פנים אל פנים כן לב האדם לאדם (משלי כז יט), Like water (that reflects the expression of someone who peers into it) are faces to one another, so is the heart of man to man.

The novelty in this answer is that this phenomena holds true between G-d and man as well.

But if this be true why then do so many of us not sense that love for G-d?

The Meraglim, the spies, felt so distant from G-d that they maligned G-d with a proclamation that G-d hated them.

...בשנאת ד' אתנו הוציאנו מארץ מצרים... להשמידנו (דברים א כז), Because of G-d’s hatred for us did He take us out from the land of Egypt... to destroy us.

Doesn’t G-d love us unconditionally and purely? How then can anyone ever sense anything but love for Him in light of the remarkable teaching of Rabbi Akiva Eiger and Reb Boruch of Mezibuz? Is it possible that G-d loves some of us and not others?

Yehoshua and Calev attempt to stifle the growing dissent by first denying the spies false claim by exclaiming, “the Land is very very good”.

They then add, אם חפץ בנו ד' והביא אתנו אל הארץ הזאת... (במדבר יד ח), “If G-d desires us, He will bring us to this land...”, אך בד' אל תמרדו, “but do not rebel against G-d!”

What were they trying to convey by asserting ‘if’ G-d desires us then we have it made? That was precisely the spies dilemma. They agreed that ‘if’ indeed G-d loved them all would be good, but apparently He hated them! What were Yehoshua and Calev thinking by posing the possibility of ‘if’?

The illustrious rabbinic figure and brother of the great Reb Shmelke of Nikolsburg, Rav Pinchos HaLevi Horowitz, famed author and Rabbi of Frankfurt, in his work on Chumash, the Panim Yafos, reveals a caveat to this principle of ‘reflecting hearts’.

During the episode where Yosef is sent by his father to look into the welfare of his brothers and the flock they were tending to, he can’t find them. He discovers a ‘man’, who the Midrash reveals was the angel Gavriel, and inquires if he has seen his brothers. According to the Midrash he directs Yosef to their location but informs Yosef that they are plotting to kill him. Nevertheless, Yosef loyally plods forward to fulfill his father’s request.

The Panim Yafos wonders as to what was Yosef thinking he would accomplish in undertaking this ‘suicide mission’ and falling into the hands of those who sought his death. He alleges that Yosef sincerely loved his brothers and he sought  to implement this remarkable tool of ‘reflective love’, hoping that by radiating honest love from his heart toward them, they too would reciprocally sense an overpowering love towards him and withdraw their evil plan.

But it didn’t work as the verse goes on to report, ויראו אתו מרחק ובטרם יקרב אליהם ויתנכלו אתו להמיתו (בראשית לז יח), They saw him from afar; and when he had not yet approached them they conspired against him to kill him. 

Evidently one must first enter the other’s ‘space’ in order to affect this love, but they never permitted him to and initiated their misguided plot, thus preempting Yosef’s ploy.

Perhaps when it comes to G-d and being influenced by His absolute love for us, we must first permit G-d to enter ‘our space’. The heart of one who shuns the will of G-d, rebelling and rejecting His presence in one’s life, will be impregnable to His love, and never sense it. Although G-d is omnipresent, it is precisely because He is unseen it requires of us to ‘bring’ G-d into our realm so that we may sense His love.

May I suggest that the sentiment אם חפץ בנו ד', can have an alternative reading and intimation.

אם חפץ בנו, if despite our differences, there exists a desire within us is, ד', to connect with G-d and strive for that bond, then we will sense His boundless love and return our instinctive love for Him in line with the  marvel of ‘reflective love’.

If though one ‘writes’ G-d out of one’s life, one never allows for the gift of G-d’s love to penetrate one’s heart.

The Chida points out that the last letters in this phrase אם חפץ בנו י-ה-ו-ה, spell out the word מצוה, commandment. The moment one rejects His ‘will’ that is the moment when we push Him away and not allow ourselves to be warmed by His love.

This was Yehoshua and Calev’s appeal to them. You claim that G-d hates you, they said, it is exactly the opposite. If only you would ‘desire’ G-d in your life, permitting him into your realm, would you sense His love, rather than project your own distorted hate.

We often struggle with our own urges and challenges failing to fully fulfill G-d’s will, but as long as אם חפץ בנו ד', the ‘will to want G-d’ is prevalent in our life, and we don’t rebel, we will be privileged to sense His encouraging love.

We must be willing to connect and seek to bring the Divine presence into our lives so that the love that is showered down upon us will awaken within us our instinctive bond with the Almighty in return.

Too many of us unfortunately never allow G-d to dwell in our space. We pay our dues but from the distance. Only when we accept His constant presence and will, will we in turn merit devoting ourselves lovingly to Him.

באהבה,

צבי טייכמאן