As someone who has been privileged to be a guest as well as a host, I would like to suggest the following:

1. Pesach is an extremely expensive holiday. Offer to pay part of the costs of the family who will be hosting you by bringing along paper good, a monetary contribution, or perhaps some food items they will be needing, even uncooked. (I.e,. chip in for the meat, etc.)

2. Ask your host when the best time is for you to arrive for the second days. Don't just assume they would love to see you for the whole Chol HaMoed when they are in the midst of cooking and preparing for the last days. On the flip side, they might need extra help (especially your parents) so inquire as to what would be best for them.

3. If you will be in your host's home on Thursday, and are coming to your host with a bunch of sweet active children, get them out of the way by taking them to a park or the zoo, so that your host can get work done. If possible, send the kiddies with your husband, and offer to help your hostess with the cooking.

4. Do not invite your friends to come hang out with you in your hostess’s house while she is working, and you are sitting on the couch having a coffee with your feet up.

5. And now... on to your parents... Kibud av vaeim! The most treasured mitzvah in the Torah. The mitzvah that rewards you with a long life, and brings you joy in this world. The mitzvah that trains your kids by example how they will behave with you when YOU are older. How hallowed is this mitzvah. If you are going to your parents’ home, YOU ARE NOT ON VACATION!! If you assume you are on vacation,  that means you have reduced your mother and your father to inn keepers who are there to fulfil your every desire. You have taken kibud av vaem and turned it into "kibud atzmi" kavod for fulfilling your own desires, without regards to the two people most precious to you in the world.

NEVER let your father take the garbage out. You, your spouse, your children - if they are old enough - or anyone else, who can, should be removing garbage from the house and/or offering to remove it before they are begged to. If your mother is not sitting, neither should you be. It's that simple.

If other guest are not helping, that has nothing to do with you. YOU be the mentsch and get up! Set the table, clear it, help your mom, ask her how you can make her yom tov more enjoyable, thank her for hosting you, and tell her how much she and dad mean to you. And here's a crazy one: offer to make her a cup of coffee and allow her to put her feet up for five minutes.

6. Do not carry on long phone conversations at the kitchen table while your parents are trying to get things done. If you need to speak to someone, please go to another room to talk and understand that not everyone in the house wants to hear an hour of conversation about how your shaitel is not working for you.

7. Another big one: if your parents or host tell you that they would prefer you not eat/sleep/make noise, etc., in a certain place in the house, please, please respect the wishes of that home. You might be fine with your kids eating eggs on the couch, but trust me, your host, who has requested that you eat in the kitchen, is burning up inside as your baby wipes the ‘eggies' all over their newly washed couch.

8. Although your parents/host are so happy to have you and your beautiful kinderlach for the holiday, everyone needs a little peace. Please try to take the kids out on yom tov to a park, or out to a friend so that the rest of the guests in the house can have some quiet time without the little guys.

9. After yom tov, ask your host if they would like you to strip the beds and bring the sheets to the laundry room. Also, if possible, try to stay after Pesach and help your hosts clean up if at all practical.

10. Please feel free to add to this list. Most importantly, enjoy a beautiful yom tov together with your company. May we witness the coming Moshiach very, very soon!!!!