A recent story from Utah involves a man who purchased a used car for $4,000, which was marked as a final sale. However, shortly after driving the car for a few days, he noticed it wasn’t working properly. It seemed as though he had bought a "lemon," and he became very frustrated with his purchase. Seeking a resolution, he approached the used car dealer, requesting a refund. Unfortunately, the dealer refused to give him his money back.
The man, extremely frustrated with his situation, decided to take matters into his own hands. In an act of revenge, he drove the "lemon" car at high speed straight into the storefront of the used car dealership. The car smashed through the front glass, coming to a halt after crashing into one of the desks inside. The police were immediately called to the scene, and the man was arrested. In addition to his arrest, his actions caused around $10,000 in damages during the chaotic incident.
When asked why he had gone to such extreme lengths, causing himself even more trouble, he simply replied, "I was really angry about my money, and I kind of just blacked out." It was a moment of pure rage—a drastic, impulsive reaction driven by frustration. That’s what happens when anger takes control!
Although this may be an extreme case it seems as if the Egyptians did a similar act:
The Steipler Gaon in this week's parsha teaches us an important lesson about anger. As the pesukim go through the ten Makkos, the Passuk says (8,2) “Aharon stretched out his hand on the waters of Mitzrayim and frogs came up and covered the whole land of Mitzrayim.”
Rashi brings a Medrash that says it was actually only one frog that emerged. However, people became angry and hit it, splitting it into two frogs. They then hit those two frogs and they became four, then eight and 16. You would think they would have stopped by then, but they continued hitting the frogs as they multiplied to 32, 64, 128, 256 and so on. The same thing was happening in every house. They could not control themselves!
This is why frogs ended up covering the whole Mitzrayim. Couldn’t they control themselves? Didn’t they realize what was happening?! No.
That’s what anger is all about. It’s when we lose control, stop thinking clearly, and end up doing things that hurt us or others. Often, when we look back at times when we were angry, we can't believe we acted that way! If we start to get upset, it’s important to try to take control before we lose it completely. By staying calm, we can avoid making things worse.
I once came across a practical idea to help in moments of anger: hit pause. If you notice yourself getting angrier and can’t seem to stop, instead of trying to think rationally right away, do something physical to break the cycle of negative emotions. Take a deep breath, sip some water, or grab a pen and write a note. Do whatever you need to create a small pause between your strong feelings and your response. Even just a two-second pause can make a huge difference in stopping you from reacting with anger.
Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything!
Rabbi Moshe Dov Heber is a rebbe at Yeshiva K'tana of Waterbury and a division head in Camp Romimu. He is a writer and public speaker, focusing on topics related to inspiration and education. Rabbi Heber could be reached via email mdheber@ykwaterbury.org
