Parents have a natural tendency to control their baby’s food intake. While there is certainly a time, age, and place for this, many studies have shown that spoon-feeding infants may actually be bad for their growth, as letting babies self-feed themselves could be better for their overall development.
Is it cleaner to feed your baby yourself? Of course! When you put food in front of your child and let them eat by themselves, it takes time and patience for them to actually get it into their mouth! At first, they will just stick their hands into the food. Then, they will reach for the vicinity of their face, and most of the food will get between their eyebrows and nostrils. Some kids (ok fine, most kids) will manage to get the food in their ears. How is that even possible? Then the food will be thrown on the floor, smooshed in their high chair, and chucked onto your clean shirt. For some reason, they only spill and get you dirty when you are wearing a clean shirt.
But then, guess what? Give it some time, and something amazing starts to happen. Your child starts to direct his little fingers with the food into his mouth! He will learn to self-feed and be independent. This seemingly small skill at such a young age, can have a tremendously positive impact on the child’s development as he begins to grow up and embrace the vicissitudes of the world.
This idea and notion of self-feeding vs. spoon-feeding touches at the core of who we are and what we were designed to do. Hashem, in His infinite wisdom and kindness, brought our souls down to this world, to work and perform, to achieve and accomplish, to so-to-speak self-feed. We are meant to become independent (not independent from Hashem!), responsible, and capable people.
Our souls are programmed to be hungry and thirsty for growth and spiritual ascension by means of working hard and applying effort. We are not designed to take the easy road, the free path, and live a life of being spoon-fed our ideals, values, and aspirations, which by and large, when being picked up at the free market, is shallow, baseless, and impure.
In this week’s Parshah, in Chapter 22, Verse 4, the Torah tells us that if you see the donkey or ox of your friend struggling under a heavy load, you should pick up the load with him – הקם תקים עמו. This is very interesting. The Torah goes out of its way to say עמו – with him. Of course, as a good friend, you must not turn a blind eye; you must help out another person. However, don’t do it for him, do it with him! The owner must help you out, and cannot just watch you fix the load.
Freebees are not good. You always must have some skin in the game. Let your child get dirty and self-feed. It is good for him. Assist him, of course. Provide him proper food options. But then, let him self-feed.
In life, be there for others, just like you’d want others to be there for you. But always ensure that your lifestyle is one of self-feeding and not spoon-feeding. Make sure you have some skin in the game.
Have a holy Shabbos!
Parents have a natural tendency to control their baby’s food intake. While there is certainly a time, age, and place for this, many studies have shown that spoon-feeding infants may actually be bad for their growth, as letting babies self-feed themselves could be better for their overall development.
Is it cleaner to feed your baby yourself? Of course! When you put food in front of your child and let them eat by themselves, it takes time and patience for them to actually get it into their mouth! At first, they will just stick their hands into the food. Then, they will reach for the vicinity of their face, and most of the food will get between their eyebrows and nostrils. Some kids (ok fine, most kids) will manage to get the food in their ears. How is that even possible? Then the food will be thrown on the floor, smooshed in their high chair, and chucked onto your clean shirt. For some reason, they only spill and get you dirty when you are wearing a clean shirt.
But then, guess what? Give it some time, and something amazing starts to happen. Your child starts to direct his little fingers with the food into his mouth! He will learn to self-feed and be independent. This seemingly small skill at such a young age, can have a tremendously positive impact on the child’s development as he begins to grow up and embrace the vicissitudes of the world.
This idea and notion of self-feeding vs. spoon-feeding touches at the core of who we are and what we were designed to do. Hashem, in His infinite wisdom and kindness, brought our souls down to this world, to work and perform, to achieve and accomplish, to so-to-speak self-feed. We are meant to become independent (not independent from Hashem!), responsible, and capable people.
Our souls are programmed to be hungry and thirsty for growth and spiritual ascension by means of working hard and applying effort. We are not designed to take the easy road, the free path, and live a life of being spoon-fed our ideals, values, and aspirations, which by and large, when being picked up at the free market, is shallow, baseless, and impure.
In this week’s Parshah, in Chapter 22, Verse 4, the Torah tells us that if you see the donkey or ox of your friend struggling under a heavy load, you should pick up the load with him – הקם תקים עמו. This is very interesting. The Torah goes out of its way to say עמו – with him. Of course, as a good friend, you must not turn a blind eye; you must help out another person. However, don’t do it for him, do it with him! The owner must help you out, and cannot just watch you fix the load.
Freebees are not good. You always must have some skin in the game. Let your child get dirty and self-feed. It is good for him. Assist him, of course. Provide him proper food options. But then, let him self-feed.
In life, be there for others, just like you’d want others to be there for you. But always ensure that your lifestyle is one of self-feeding and not spoon-feeding. Make sure you have some skin in the game.
Have a holy Shabbos!
