For me, Behaaloscha is the saddest parsha in the Torah.  I become teary-eyed at what was and what could have been.  The story of the spies in next week’s parsha is the most tragic; but Behaaloscha is when the turning point occurred, and this led to the tragedy of the spies.   I don’t cry when I read parshas Shelach, but I do when I read Behaaloscha.

My relationship with parshas Behaaloscha stems from more than twenty years ago, when I first heard  a recording of the famous lecture on this Parsha given by Rav Yosef Dov Soloveichik.[1]

On the surface, Behaaloscha seems to contain many disjointed topics. We read about the 12 nesi’im bringing their offerings last week.  Now, Aharon lights the menorah and consecrates the Leviim. Then, Bnei Yisrael (BY) celebrate Pesach at Har Sinai, then the law of an additional Pesach one month later for those who were tamei and could not bring it at the right time.  Then, a description of the cloud covering the Mishkan, and how the cloud’s movement controlled the travels of Bnei Yisrael.  The a description of the chatzotzros, the horns that would be blown and how they controlled the travels.  Then Moshe’s plea to Yisro to come with BY.  Then the famous inverted nuns, bounding a description of Moshe asking Hashem to scatter His enemies when the ark would travel, and what he would say when it would rest. (used in davening when we take out and return the Torah to the aron in our Shabbos davening).  

Following the second nun, there is the episode of those who had a lust for meat, and Moshe asking Hashem why He had done bad to him.  Hashem has Moshe select 70 zekainim to share prophecy with him. Two men remained with prophecy and said, according to the Sages, that Moshe will die and Yehoshua will bring BY into Eretz Yisrael. Hashem brings down an abundance of quail which the people collected without any limit, and Hashem was angry with them and there was a plague among them.  Finally, there is the story of Miriam asking why Moshe has to separate from his family and other nevi’im don’t. Miriam is struck with tzaraas, Moshe prays for her, and Miriam is healed.

When Hashem first addresses Moshe at the burning bush, He tells him that BY will “serve Hashem” at this mountain (Har Sinai).  Serving Hashem implies receiving the Torah, as well as bringing korbanos in the Mishkan.  Moshe gets the Luchos at the beginning of Sivan, but the actual building of the Mishkan is delayed 80 days due to the Golden Calf and Moshe’s plea to Hashem to forgive them and then to get the second Luchos.  The Mishkan is finished, and is dedicated on Rosh Chodesh Nisan of the second year after Yetzias Mitzraim.  There are the 12 days of the nesi’im bringing their offerings, which takes us to the 13^th of Nisan; one day later the korban Pesach is brought, and the law of Pesach Sheni is given.  Now it was time to start the relatively short journey to Eretz Yisrael.  The conditions of movement based on the cloud are presented.  Then there is a description of the horns to signal the travel, and of the way the camp would travel.

At this point, there is an air of expectancy.  They are really ready to go. When Moshe speaks to Yisro, he uses the present tense (which is unusual in the Torah).  We are traveling! We are going now, and no problem is foreseen.  Then comes the description of what Moshe would say when the cloud moved and the cloud rested, offset by inverted nuns.  Had they gone on directly to Eretz Yisrael, with Moshe leading them in, Moshe would have been the Melech Hamoshiach, and the era of the moshiach would commence.

But now, the tragic turning point occurs.  The inverted nun represents a reversal in BY’s progress.  The people express an unbridled lust for food, despite their having the manna.  They ask Moshe why they had to leave Egypt, etc. Rav Soloveichik associates this lustful with a paganistic feeling, even if idolatry is not present.  He contrasts the lustful way the quail were collected here, to the organized way the manna was collected. In addition, the people go to their tents and cry, which our chachomim say was because the Torah did not allow for immoral behavior (arayos). (My son Eli told me that the Raavad and the Ohr haChaim say that BY were looking for ta’avos; not that they slipped on a specific chait, but they looked for ta’avos in general; that’s what made this episode serious enough to warrant Moshe’s change in reaction.)

Moshe’s behavior becomes entirely different from the past.  The sin of the Egel was motivated by the people’s fear that Moshe, their teacher and leader, would not return.  Moshe prayed for BY at that time, even asking Hashem to wipe him out if He does not forgive them.  But now, Moshe no longer prays for BY.  He complains that Hashem has taken him from being a teacher of the people to being like a mother having to carry a baby to her bosom.  He asks for Hashem to kill him, rather than making him tolerate the evil of these people. Moshe is no longer the leader that he was, but has lost his individuality, as a nursing mother is totally immersed in her child.  He no longer relates to his own life, his own wife and children, but is tasked to hold this infant-like group of people up.  This is when Miriam speaks about Moshe, because he has now separated from his wife (and also his sons).  Moshe can no longer be solely the teacher of BY, and he is no longer the leader who will bring them into the land.

A sad parsha.  But one that should motivate us to take control of our actions, and behave in a way that we can accept leadership to bring us, speedily, to the final redemption.

[1] .  This talk, given in 1977, can be accessed at https://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/751364/rabbi-joseph-b-soloveitchik/behaalotcha-nosim-anachnu/, and a transcription of the talk by Rabbi Etshalom can be found at https://torah.org/torah-portion/mikra-5774-behaaloscha/

I encourage you to listen to the Rav ,whose presentation is powerful and cannot be captured adequately in a transcription.