Even though happiness is “the ultimate good at which all humans aim,”^[1] the world has become a very unhappy place. One of the strange findings of contemporary economists is that vast increases in wealth and life expectancy in the 20th century do not seem to have impacted our happiness.

On the contrary, especially among the young, there has been a significant increase in depressive illness, suicide attempts, eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, and other symptoms of unhappiness. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks summarizes, "Materially, we have more than previous generations, but psychologically and spiritually, we seem to have lost our way.”^[2]

Even in the United States, whose Declaration of Independence highlights “the pursuit of happiness,” the latest U.S. General Social Survey data shows that people are more unhappy than ever.^[3]

Chazal address this issue in five ways.

Samei’ach B’Chelko

The first is by encouraging people be “samei’ach b’chelko,” happy with their lot.^[4]

Many measure what they have by comparing it to those around them. Having everything they need (and, objectively, much more than their ancestors) does not satisfy them. They are jealous of others who have more and they spend their lives desperately trying to catch up or compete. Since there is always someone who has something that they do not have, they are doomed to sadness and frustration.

Chazal encourage us to be samei’ach b’chelko. Rashi explains that the “o” in the word “chelko” refers to Hashem. We should be happy with what we have because we realize that it is the portion He has given us. Our lot is not determined randomly; Hashem decides what we need and arranges for us to have it. We should be satisfied with what we have because we know that it, and nothing else, is what we are meant to (and what we will ultimately) have.^[5]

The Ibn Ezra uses this idea to explain isur of lo tachmod.^[6] How can the Torah prohibit desiring what others have? How can we be expected to control our emotions? The Ibn Ezra explains that people do not desire things not appropriate for them. If we recognize that what we do not have is not right for us, we do not desire it.

We express this recognition when we recite the berachah of She’asah Li Kol Tzarki. We bless and thank Hashem for having (already) created everything we need,^[7] the chelek that is right for us. Rav Elimelech Biderman explains that this is why the berachah was initially recited when putting on shoes.^[8] We should apply the feeling of slipping on a well-fitting shoe to our general portion. Our chelek needs to be like a shoe — it needs to be “our size” and fit us properly. Just as we have no use for a shoe that is larger than our foot, we should have no desire for a portion larger than the one right for us.

This may be part of why the Torah links its directives to celebrate the fruits of our harvest (when we bring Bikkurim^[9] and during Shavuot^[10] and Sukkot^[11]) to the fact that “Hashem has given them to us.” In addition to reminding us to thank Hashem, the linkage may also aim to explain why we should be so happy.^[12] We are happy not just because of the successful harvest but also (and more importantly) because we realize that what we have is what we are meant to have.

Gratitude

In addition to this realization, gratitude (for Hashem and in general) inspires happiness.

Robert Emmons, the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude, studied more than one thousand people from ages eight to eighty and found that people who practiced gratitude consistently reported many benefits. They had improved physical health and stronger immune systems. They exercised more frequently and had lower blood pressure. They even slept better and felt refreshed when they awoke. They were also happier and enjoyed life more.^[13]

People who recognize and appreciate what others do for them are happier because they realize that others care about them.^[14]

Our Future

The realization that Hashem cares for us makes us happy for another reason. It gives us good reason to believe that we will have what we need in the future. This is how the Sefat Emet^[15] explains why the holiday of Sukkot is called z’man simchateinu — the time of our happiness.^[16] Sitting in the sukkah reminds us of Hashem’s assistance to us. This brings us great simchah because we have real reason to believe that we will continue being successful in the future.

This is why the Simchat Beit Hashoeivah celebrates pouring out the last remaining water in the Shiloach spring (after the dry summer months). We are willing to pour out our last drops of water — and celebrate doing so — because we are confident that Hashem will bless us with more. Hashem providing us with mon each day in the desert taught us to rely on His Providence in a way that allows us to enjoy what we have each day without worrying about tomorrow.^[17]

“Ashrei ha’gever asher sam Hashem mivtacho!” (Tehillim 40:5).

Our Relationship and Purpose

The realization that Hashem cares about us should make us happy for an additional, more fundamental reason — because of what it indicates about our relationship with Hashem (in and of itself). The true significance of Hashem’s gifts lies in the implication that Hashem cares for us. This not only facilitates confidence about the future but, more importantly, reminds us that we and our lives matter.^[18]

Appreciating that Hashem determines what we have makes us happy with our lot; appreciating our relationship with Hashem and our role in His world makes us happy with our lives. True happiness is not achieved through pleasure and possessions or “having fun” but by feeling that we have meaning and purpose.

This is why those who value and pursue happiness rarely find it. As cultural critic Ruth Whippman concluded (based upon a psychological study at the University of California, Berkeley): “Paradoxically, the more people valued and were encouraged to value happiness as a separate life goal, the less happy they were.”^[19]

This is because we are created to seek meaning and purpose. As opposed to animals, who are programmed to sustain themselves (by eating) and their species (by reproduction), human beings (also) seek meaning. One of the primary expressions of our soul and creation in Hashem’s image is that we all feel that our lives should matter. When we think that they do not, we become depressed. 

This is the message of Sefer Kohelet. Shlomo HaMelech had it all — money, possessions, wisdom, and power. Yet, he saw them all as meaningless. The only solution is the last perek, which ends with yirat shamayim and shemirat mitzvot. Without these, our lives are truly meaningless.

Happiness is not something we find when we search for it but a by-product of living life correctly. It is not a transient emotion or a destination to be pursued but a state of being.^[20] The more we sync our lives with our core values, the more happiness finds us. The moment we detach ourselves from living life and begin to search for happiness as an end in and of itself, the more it evades us.

Happiness is a natural result of living life the way it should be — of being the people we ought to be, following the “road map” provided by Torah and Halachah. It cannot be a destination but is instead a result of the journey of an inspired life process.

Henry David Thoreau said it this way: “Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it comes and sits softly on your shoulder.”^[21]

The “other things” we need to “turn our attention to” are what makes our lives meaningful, the world’s purpose: Avodat Hashem and Kevod Shamayim. When our life is about ourselves, we feel like it does not matter. When it is about what we and the world were created for, we are happy because we feel like we matter — we live up to what we were designed for and programmed to accomplish.^[22]

This is why Nach (especially Sefer Tehillim)^[23] links happiness to acquiring wisdom,^[24] to living life correctly,^[25] and especially to relying on Hashem and forging a meaningful relationship with Him.^[26]

“Halleluyah ashrei ish yareh et Hashem, b’mitzvotav chafetz me’od” (Tehillim 112:1).

The Bigger Picture

On a deeper level, we should appreciate and celebrate the fact that when we live our lives correctly, we make Hashem happy. It is not our success and happiness that matter, but Hashem’s happiness with us.^[27]

Ideally, our appreciation of Hashem’s blessings and His care for and relationship with us should help us transcend ourselves and identify with Hashem’s interests in our world.

“Ashrei mi she’gadeil baTorah v’amalo baTorah, v’oseh nachat ruach l’yotzro” (Talmud Bavli, Masechet Berachot 16a).

May we be satisfied with our lot because we realize that it comes from Hashem, who determines what we truly need.

May the realization that what we have are Hashem’s blessings give us confidence for the future and remind us of our special relationship with Him.

May realizing this inspire us to achieve true happiness for ourselves and Hashem by living as He intends.

Rav Reuven Taragin is the Dean of Overseas Students at Yeshivat Hakotel and the Educational Director of World Mizrachi.

^[1] Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics, Book 1.

^[2] https://www.rabbisacks.org/archive/the-true-path-to-inner-happiness/

^[3] https://gssdataexplorer.norc.org/trends

^[4] Masechet Avot 4:1. Though the mishnah uses the term to explain who is rich, it is also a condition for happiness.

It is noteworthy that the mishnah (nor any other tannaitic source) does not ask what makes one happy. The Torah also does not focus on happiness. The root s-m-ch appears only once in each of the first four books of the Torah. In Sefer Devarim, where it appears over twelve times, it refers mainly to celebration (and not necessarily internal happiness).

It seems that previous generations found happiness either less important or less elusive.

^[5] The usage of the word “chelek” is meant to imply both of the word’s meanings — “portion” and “part.” We should view what we have as our “portion,” what we are meant to have, and we should realize that, no matter how much we have, we will never have more than just a part of the whole.

^[6] Sefer Shemot 20:14.

^[7] See Kli Yakar (Bereishit 33:9) who explains that this is what Yaakov Avinu meant when he responded to Eisav: “I have everything.” The Avot (and tzaddikim in general) saw what they had as everything they needed. (See also Ramban, Bereishit 25:8 and Rashi, Bereishit 33:11 who seems to make reference to the brachah of She’asah Li Kol Tzarki.)

^[8] Talmud Bavli, Masechet Berachot 60b.

^[9] Sefer Devarim 26:11. Variations of this phrase appear five more times in that section (26:1-11).

^[10] Sefer Devarim 16:10–11.

^[11] Sefer Devarim 16:15.

^[12] See Rabbi Frand on the Parashah 2 (pg. 334–5) who offers this explanation.

^[13] See Deep Meaningful Conversation, Rabbi Ira Kosowsky, pg. 205.

^[14] This explains why Sefer Tehillim (92:2) asserts that it is “good” to thank Hashem. 

^[15] Sefat Emet, Sukkot 5645.

^[16] The name is based on the fact that three out of the four Biblical appearances of the word “simchah” regarding the Mo’adim refer to Sukkot (Vayikra 23:40, Devarim 16:14, 15).

^[17] Mechilta, Vayisa 2.

^[18] This proper appreciation of the significance of Hashem’s care for us explains the Torah’s promise (Devarim 16:15 as understood by Rashi and the Ibn Ezra) that one who celebrates on Sukkot will be happy throughout the year. One can explain that the promise is based on a natural process (as opposed to an external reward): one who properly appreciates Hashem’s gifts has real reason to be happy even once the harvest and celebration are over (see Abarbanel who seems to understand it along these lines. See also Peleh Yoetz [Erech “Sukkah,” end of D”H Ve’od]).

^[19] America The Anxious – How Our Pursuit of Happiness is Creating a Nation of Nervous Wrecks (St. Martin’s Press, 2016).

^[20] See Sefat Emet (Likutim) who quotes the Tikunei Zohar (Atvan 22) which points out that the letters of the word “b’simchah” are the same as the word “machshavah.” True happiness is a mindset.

^[21] See more about this in Rav Doron Perez’s “Israel: The Happiest Place in the World?” (https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/israel-the-happiest-place-in-the-world/#ref1)

^[22] See Magid Mishnah, Hilchot Lulav 8:15.

This is why it is so important to daven (Midrash Tehillim 100, Mesilat Yesharim 19) and fulfill mitzvot (Kuzari 2:50, Rambam and Magid Mishnah, Hilchot Lulav 8:15, Kad Hakemach Erech Simchah, Rabbeinu Bechayei Devarim 28:47, Sha’arei Teshuvah 4:9, and Sefer Chareidim, Tenaim L’Kiyum HaMitzvot 4) with simchah. We should see these activities as privileges.

^[23] It is noteworthy that as opposed to the word the Torah uses for happiness — simchah, Nach also uses a different word — ashrei. As opposed to “simchah” which (as noted in an earlier footnote) often refers to the action of celebration, “ashrei” refers to one’s internal feeling of happiness.

^[24] Sefer Melachim I 10:8, Mishlei 3:13, 8:34.

^[25] Sefer Yeshayah 56:2, Sefer Tehillim 1:1, 32:1, 106:3

^[26] Sefer Yeshayah 30:18, Sefer Tehillim 2:12, 33:12, 34:9, 40:5, 65:5. 84:5-6,13,16, 94:12, 102:1, 109:1-2, 128:1, 144:15, 146:5, Iyov 5:17.

^[27] See Be’er Mayim Chayim, Bechukotai 26. See also Sefer HaChinuch 325 (at the very end).