One of the permitted areas of Torah study on Tisha Be’av is the Gemara in Gittin (55-56) which discusses the famous story of Kamtza Bar Kamtza. During the times of the Bais Hamikdash, there was a certain Jew who made a large banquet and by mistake, instead of inviting Kamtza (his friend), the attendant invited Bar Kamtza (his enemy). In short, as Bar Kamtza was sitting at the banquet, the Jewish host picked him up and threw him out. Bar Kamtza was so upset, and he ultimately incited the Roman government against the Jews, and the rest was history: The Bais Hamikdash was ultimately destroyed. 

If you ask most people, “Why was the Kamtza Bar Kamtza story a deciding factor for the destruction of the Bais Hamikdash?”, they will probably say, “Well, look how Bar Kamtza was treated by a fellow Jew. He was embarrassed and humiliated in public by being thrown out of the banquet. This showed tremendous Sinas Chinam.” 

But that’s not what the Gemara says. The Gemara (Gittin 56a) says clearly: אמר רבי יוחנן – R’ Yochanan said: ענוותנותו של רבי זכריה בן אבקולס – The humility of R’ Zechariah ben Avkulas, החריבה את ביתנו – destroyed our Temple, ושרפה את היכלנו – burned down our Sanctuary, והגליתנו מארצנו – and exiled us from our land. 

You see, when Bar Kamtza incited the Roman government against the Jews, according to the Meiri, he was indeed חייב מיתה. So why was he not put to death? Why was Bar Kamtza kept alive by the Jewish court? The Gemara tells us “Because of the humility of R’ Zechariah ben Avkulas.” The Geresh Yerachim explains, R’ Zecharia did not feel himself qualified to make the determination to put Bar Kamtza to death. 

The Gemara is telling us something astounding. On his great level, R’ Zecharia felt small and not qualified enough. It was ultimately a lack of self-qualification, self-respect, and self-value that was the straw that broke the camel's back and caused the destruction of the Bais Hamikdash! 

Dovid HaMelech (Psalms 118:5) says, קָרָ֣אתִי קה עָנָ֖נִי בַמֶּרְחָ֣ב קה מִֽן־הַ֭מֵּצַ֥ר – “I called to Hashem from the narrow straits, and Hashem answered me with expansiveness.” Homiletically, we can understand this verse as follows. We often live in a state of מצר; we feel small and unqualified. “Hashem doesn’t really want my Prayers. Hashem doesn’t really care what I look at or what I listen to.” But how does Hashem answer us? עָנָ֖נִי בַמֶּרְחָ֣ב קה. Hashem responds to us “with expansiveness.” Hashem is telling us, “Don’t live life in a state of מצר, thinking of yourself as small, unimportant, and unqualified; rather, live life in a state of מרחב, thinking of yourself as great, important, and extremely qualified.”  

If you think about it, one of the greatest sins ever committed was when the Jewish people constructed the Golden Calf, which was of course, on the 17th of Tammuz, the start of the Three Weeks, the בין המצרים. 

The Torah (Devarim 9:12) says: וַיֹּ֨אמֶר ה' אֵלַ֗י ק֣וּם רֵ֤ד מַהֵר֙ מִזֶּ֔ה כִּ֚י שִׁחֵ֣ת עַמְּךָ֔ אֲשֶׁ֥ר הוֹצֵ֖אתָ מִמִּצְרָ֑יִם סָ֣רוּ מַהֵ֗ר מִן־הַדֶּ֙רֶךְ֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר צִוִּיתִ֔ם עָשׂ֥וּ לָהֶ֖ם מַסֵּכָֽה– “Then Hashem said to me (Moshe), “Arise descend quickly from here, for the people that you took out of Egypt has become corrupt; they have…made a Golden Calf.” This verse has the numerical value of 5,715. Remember this number. The Jewish people, by making a Golden Calf to serve as an intermediary between them and Hashem, showed that they felt small and unqualified to serve Hashem directly.  

Astoundingly, the words of the Gemara in Gittin (56a) - אמר רבי יוחנן ענוותנותו של רבי זכריה בן אבקולס החריבה את ביתנו ושרפה את היכלנו והגליתנו מארצנו – have the exact numerical value of 5,715

We need to feel big, important, and qualified to connect to Hashem and experience redemption.