Thank you for taking the time to read my articles. I hope that you had an uplifting Yomim Noraim. Below is a practical idea that I hope could help you propel some of the growth that you had. It’s an idea that was originally published in Hamodia Magazine during Elul and I hope it could inspire others as well. Please feel free to share feedback with me mdheber@ykwaterbury.org

A Life Changing Siddur

As a sixth grade rebbe who teaches seventh and eighth grade in the afternoon, I have a unique vantage point in the growth of my talmidim over these three crucial years. Middle school is a bridge between childhood and adulthood. The boys come in as children just beginning to learn gemara and leave as yeshiva bochurim ready for a mesivta. During those three years we as rebbeim try our best to give our talmidim many foundational skills so that they could thrive throughout their years in mesivta and beyond.

It’s no secret that Tefillah is a challenge. The gemara in Berachos (32) tells us that Tefillah is one of the items that needs constant chizuk. This chizuk is needed throughout our lives but, with a proper foundation, the challenge is that much less. Our sixth grade boys come in from years of singing by davening in their classroom. They are now entering the “big leagues” davening with a minyan. Davening is longer and could seem more “dry”. This is the way most of the boys will be davening for the rest of their lives.

Boys often find it challenging upon entering minyan in sixth or seventh grade to get used to this davening. Within the first few weeks, we have selichos which always throws us for a curve as davening could now be well over an hour.  As with all challenges there is not one answer. We as rebbeim explain the seder of davening, the explanation of davening. We model for them how to be a chazan, and how to do the various other tasks in shul. Yet many boys still find it challenging.

I would like to offer a tried and true idea that may help: My grandfather, Rabbi Paysach Krohn, in a famous speech entitled “Your Siddur, Your Life” passionately spoke about having your own siddur. He spoke about when you have your own siddur you are able to underline, highlight or write in it. He said “I feel that my siddur talks to me every time I use it. It’s my dearest friend”. I could testify to that as I have seen his siddur on numerous occasions and the connection he has to it. He implores the crowds to get a siddur, make it theirs, connect to it, and not just take a different siddur off the shelf each time they daven. This connection he said “will help your Tefillah forever.”

As we are creating the foundations for our children in tefillah I believe we can help them based on the idea from Rabbi Krohn. Children, too, could connect to tefillah but so much more so when the siddur that they are davening from is theirs. Over the years I have found an amazing method to get that siddur to boys in a meaningful way to propels that connection to Hashem. This idea applies well beyond a boy’s middle school and could be used for boys and girls, of all ages, even adults.

Throughout the year I offer numerous chazara or davening programs. For example, over Pesach any sixth grade boy who davened a certain amount of tefillos with a minyan and learned each day earns a prize. Each time I offer numerous prizes, but for the most part one prize is chosen, a personalized siddur. I offer whatever nusach they want, whichever type of siddur and that beautiful personalization on the siddur. The boys love it and crave it and most importantly feel a connection to it even more because they earned it!

Now that they have that siddur and it’s theirs, I see a huge difference in their tefillah. One boy recently remarked to me that he really wasn’t coming to school minyan as he found it so difficult until he earned the siddur and now he enjoys davening. Very often they choose an English translation which opens them into the word of understanding the davening and connecting to it even more. With a child who already has a special siddur this approach can be done with a Tehillim as well.

One of our greatest goals in life is for our children to develop this connection to davening and Hashem.  If we had the magic answer, we would all do it. There is no magic answer, as the gemara tells us it constantly needs chizuk. However, we can try as much as possible to help our children.

Practically, this is a suggestion:  take your son or daughter to a Judaica store with a selection of siddurim. Tell them that you want to partner with them in tefillah by offering an incentive program to earn that siddur of choice. There are so many to choose from and it’s exciting. Don’t make the program too hard, as the point is for them to earn it and not too easy, as you want them to feel they earned it. After the incentive program is up, order that siddur personalized in the way they want. Offer them their personalized Hebrew name, English name, full name or first name  or any of the other choices available.

You now have your child excited to have his own siddur, where he feels great about himself and will hopefully uplift his davening to even greater heights.

May I humbly suggest that adults too could try this out? If you don’t yet have that special siddur that you feel connected to, browse. Spend some time in the siddur section and look through the tens if not hundreds of options that are available. For many years, I just took the siddur off the shelf until I chose a siddur that talked to me. I put a plaque on it with my name. It’s my siddur, it’s my comfort zone and that has impacted by davening in a very positive way.

In my first year of teaching, on one of my first days, I was teaching an afternoon seder on Megilas Esther. I shared with the boys a famous Chiddushe Harim about how Esther ruled over 127 provinces since she was a descendant of Sarah who lived 127 complete years. I took the opportunity to speak to the boys about the importance of using time properly and offered a suggestion: Very often we find ourselves with a few minutes before the start of davening or something else. Maybe try to say the Tehillim Yomi that is spread throughout the month, and each month you could finish Tehillim. Little did I know that a boy, Yosef Dovi Friedman was listening intently and he acted upon it saying that month's Tehillim.

A year later, when Yosef Dovi was in the ninth grade he mentioned to me that he had said Tehillim for each month over the year. I was so happy and impressed and bought him a beautiful personalized Tehillim. This Elul, Yosef Dovi entered Bais Medrash and was going to be going to a yeshiva in Lakewood. His father sent me a picture of his luggage to show me that packed amongst all his items was that Tehillim that I had given to him years before. He felt that connection and savored that Tehillim.

Now more than ever, k’lal Yisroel needs our tefillos. Consider getting your own siddur and a personal siddur for  your children. It is sure to  enhance your tefillah and that of all generations, and be a z’chus for Am Yisroel.

Rabbi Moshe Dov Heber is a Middle School Rebbi in Yeshiva K’tana of Waterbury, the Director of the Mishmar Evening Program in Waterbury and Division Head in Camp Romimu. He is a frequent contributor to various publications on areas related to education as well as speaks publicly on various topics. To share a story or comment on an article, Rabbi Heber can be reached via email at mdheber@ykwaterbury.org.