Resilience Counselor Esther Marcus knows about emotional trauma firsthand.

On October 7, the London expat who lives on Kibbutz Alumim in Israel’s Gaza Envelope hid in a safe room with her husband Stevie and six family members for 27 hours as Hamas terrorists infiltrated the kibbutz and carried out their heinous atrocities, including torching her husband’s cowshed and destroying nearby chicken coops, fields, and orchards.

Marcus is the founder of a resilience center in Sdot Negev Regional Council, which serves 5,000 evacuees and 8,000 citizens currently residing in the region. On that horrific Simchat Torah morning, while praying for her life, Marcus fielded frantic calls to her center’s hotline from people in distress, and tried to be of comfort and assistance as best she could.

Marcus was recently a featured speaker at a unique two-day seminar at the Sheraton Edison in New Jersey, which marked the culmination of the Orthodox Union’s Women’s Initiative annual Foundations of Community Mental Health Support Fellowship. The 10-week program geared towards rebbetzins, kallah teachers, kiruv and chinuch professionals trains them to identify and support community members struggling with mental health issues. As those who regularly interact with community members, these women largely serve as “first responders” when it comes to spotting and addressing personal, marital, and familial crises which often necessitate referrals to mental health professionals.

Thirty-five women from across North America participated in this year’s fellowship, which introduces general mental health concepts and encourages fellows to develop their intuition, recognize when and how to support community members alongside referrals to field professionals, and create a network to consult with one another long-term. The transformative program provides fellows with a framework, a vocabulary, and a safe space to navigate personal issues with professionals. It does not, however, train participants to practice as clinicians or coaches.

Each week, fellows attend a two-hour, virtual course facilitated by licensed clinical social workers, therapists, psychologists, and psychotherapists, many of whom are university professors and directors of mental health programs who also serve as community rebbetzins. Following an hour-long presentation on a mental health-related subject, the professionals moderated small group discussions centered on unpacking the presentation or tackling issues of relevance to fellows’ respective communities.

The fellowship culminates with a seminar where participants meet in person for the first time, exchange ideas, and consolidate their learning and newly-acquired skills. Nineteen women from previous cohorts joined the current fellows at this year’s conference.

As communities worldwide are still reeling from the pain and fallout of October 7, OU Women’s Initiative Founding Director Rebbetzin Dr. Adina Shmidman felt that it was imperative to incorporate sessions dedicated to communal trauma both in Israel and North America.

“Mental health takes into account not only personal experiences, but collective experiences as well,” she says. “On October 7, we experienced a national trauma of epic proportions, and it was critical in the design of the conference to create this space to share the collective grief as well as nurture healing as a community of women leaders.”

In addition to sharing her personal story on October 7 in a session entitled Struggles and Strength: Life in the Gaza Envelope and Paths to Resilience, Marcus presented a session for seminar speakers and fellowship facilitators entitled The Frontline of Support: Psychologists’ Experiences and Challenges in Israel. Communal leaders were also provided a space to share their thoughts in From the Heart: An Open Conversation About Israel.

Rebbetzin Dr. Adina Shmidman opened and closed the seminar, which featured presenters including Rebbetzin Dr. Jessica Kalmar, Dr. Rona Novick, Rachel Hercman, Debbie Fox, Cheryl Epstein, Dr. Rachel Wilensky, Sarah Robinson, Dr. Shira Donath, Dr. Bea Hollander-Goldfein, Dr. Aliza Frohlich, Dr. Tamar Perlman, Yael Muskat, and Toby Carrey.

Sessions included Smoothing the Edges: Beliefs, Blends and Boundaries; Anxiety and Stress in Students: The Educator’s Role; Destigmatizing Mental Illness in Our Communities: A Path Forward; Understanding Couple Relationships; and Smart Referrals: Empowering Leaders to Connect with Care, among many others. 

OU Chief Legal Officer Rachel Sims and attorney Debra Shreck led a session on Spotting and Navigating Issues of Confidentiality and Disclosure – and Understanding Their Implications. Participants also enjoyed divrei Torah and chizuk, Torat Imecha Nach Yomi, a kumsitz, and art and Zumba activities.

Rebbetzin Michal Schonbrun is a campus rebbetzin, kallah teacher, and adjunct professor at Stern College for Women in New York. In the coming academic year, she will teach a Tehillim class and a course exploring diverse leadership roles through the lens of Chazal. Rebbetzin Schonbrun frequently supports students who approach her about various issues including mental health struggles, and knew immediately that she wanted to participate in the fellowship.

“When I saw the fellowship advertised, it was a no-brainer to apply,” she says. “The opportunity to learn from the top clinicians in our community, many of whom are rebbetzins themselves, has been tremendous. Not only did the program educate me about different elements of mental health, but it also helped facilitate relationships with expert mental health mentors and resources that I can consult with, bounce ideas off of, and of course, refer students to. Having relationships with licensed mental health professionals who understand the relevant cultural sensitivities and considerations means I can better guide my community as our students navigate mental health challenges and everyday life.”

“Esther’s sessions were unbelievably powerful,” she reflects. " Esther vividly described her experience of that dreadful Simchat Torah morning while showing us non-graphic video footage of the kibbutz, pausing throughout to narrate and explain…She took us there with her and showed us the layout of the kibbutz, including the barn that was torched, and spoke about her friends, their personalities and interests. She told us about her friends' children who were killed, and about her neighbors who fought for hours defending the Kibbutz and its people… It was deeply moving. Astoundingly, in her role as a licensed mental health professional, Esther arranged support for others as she was living through the experience herself. Listening to her reenergized my mission to serve the community, spiritually and emotionally, as a rebbetzin.”

Rebbetzin Dr. Adina Shmidman adds, “What was personally shocking was to hear that her husband suffered a fatal heart attack when he returned to the kibbutz weeks later and tried to address the needs of the dairy farm. The stress and pain of loss of people and animals took a terrible toll. Esther is remarkable in her resilience despite her own personal loss and pain.”

Rebbetzin Rachel Isaacs is the rebbetzin of Beth Joseph Congregation in Phoenix, Arizona. She attended the seminar as a member of the 2023 fellowship cohort, and has benefited tremendously from monthly Zoom meetings with participants and program facilitators throughout the past year.

“The monthly meetings were a tremendous source of inspiration and strength,” she says. “I felt that whatever came my way, I had strong shoulders to lean on. I was even more grateful for the knowledge, connections, and resources I cultivated from the fellowship when October 7 hit and our community was overwhelmed with the tragic war in Israel. The material and skills I acquired on the fellowship helped me to plan meaningful Israel-related events and to be a little more prepared to handle the unchartered territory.”

Reflecting on the seminar, Rebbetzin Isaacs says, “Every session was excellent. Being in the presence of so many talented and dedicated women who were all there to be able to make a stronger impact on their constituents was very meaningful.” 

She was particularly moved by a seminar session led by OU Executive Vice President Rabbi Mosher Hauer, entitled Antisemitism in America: Challenges and Responsibilities of Community Leaders.

“Rabbi Hauer’s words resonated deeply with me and were echoed by many in the room,” she says. “This diverse group of women invest their time, energy, and resources to be there for others and are living examples of the true Ahavas Yisrael that Rabbi Hauer suggested we strive for.”

Rebbetzin Tziporah Gelman is the rebbetzin of Kehillat Chovevei Tzion in Skokie, Illinois, where she also runs Frumba, a fitness center she founded that offers group and personal training to women and girls of all ages. In both capacities, she interacts with people facing mental health challenges, and was eager to participate in the fellowship.

“I interface with women from all walks of life, from every denomination and socioeconomic background,” she says. “The fellowship really appealed to me because I believe in a three-prong approach to wellness — physical health and working out, mental health and therapy when needed, and spiritual health, developing a connection to Hashem and to the Jewish people. I was very excited about it. I think it’s important for female lay leadership to have a space to connect with other people and to get support for themselves so they can better support their community members.”

Since she began the program, both clients and congregants have asked her for mental health referrals for themselves and their children.

“Thanks to this new community of female leaders and resources provided by the fellowship, I’m in a strong position to guide them accordingly,” says Rebbetzin Gelman, who adds that the fellowship and seminar were wonderful experiences.

“I got to meet really amazing women from the cohorts, and learned from many different clinical psychologists and therapists about the different struggles Jewish communities face today. As a shul rebbetzin for 18 years, the fellowship also enabled me to be a mentor to some of the newer rebbetzins by sharing my experiences with them and offering them a listening ear. It’s very gratifying to be able to be there for younger community leaders going through similar situations.”

Left to right: Rebbetzin Brooke Reiche of La Jolla, CA, Rebbetzin Michal Schonbrun of New York, NY, and Rebbetzin Gabby Aziz of Great Neck, NY

Rebbetzin Dr. Adina Shmidman (left) and Rebbetzin Esti Shulman of Brooklyn, NY

Seminar participants from Long Island, NY, and Queens, NY

Left to right: Rebbetzin Batya Basalely of Great Neck, NY, Tzivia Weiss of Houston, TX, Rebbetzin Rachel Isaacs of Phoenix, AZ, and Rebbetzin Estee Silver of Long Beach, NY