In this week's parshah, we are told of perhaps the worst story of sibling rivalry in history. Two brothers, Kayin and Hevel, offered a Korban to Hashem. Hevel offered from his best flock, while Kayan only offered from his inferior stock of produce. Quite understandably, Hashem accepted the Korban of Hevel but ignored Kayin's. The Torah attests that Kayin was tremendously distraught and saddened by Hashem's reaction. 

How can this be? Wasn't it obvious to him that his approach was far inferior to that of Hevel's?

R' Moshe Feinstein explains (in Parshas Shemos) that whenever the Torah relates the story of a rasha, it is telling us to guard ourselves from repeating their wicked actions; for we are more inclined to the tendencies of reshayim than we may suspect.

This holds true for the story of Kayin and Hevel as well, for their episode is not as foreign to us as we think. It encapsules the mentality that most Jews indeed struggle with: When it comes to serving Hashem we ALL feel that we have everything figured out, and that our way is the best, well balanced way that there is. We often view those who practice their Judaism more stringently or intensely than ourselves as "fanatics", and those who do less than us as "modern". The bottom line is that all Jews consider their way the right way. If you want to check out this reality for yourself, just go ahead and ask Jews from different spectrums how they define a "good normal Jew". Every single person thinks that their way is "right in the middle". Nobody will ever consider THEMSELVES overly "religious" or "modern". We tend to only see the positive in our personal avodas Hashem, but not in that of others. 

This was Kayin's mistake. Whatever his calculation was, he deemed that the Korban he offered would get the approval from Hashem that he desired. Although Hevel's Korban was clearly superior, he was too biased to accept this obvious truth. "His way of serving Hashem better than mine? It can't be. There must be a mistake. There must be another explanation". Since Kayin couldn't bring himself to recognize the virtue in Hevel's approach, he was confused and offended when Hashem refused to accept his offering.

 

 

Living Inspired

 

The lesson that we are supposed to learn from Kayin is one that we can all benefit from: be open to learning from and seeing the good in others. When you see someone do something differently than you, at least consider that maybe, just maybe, there's something truly special about his practice which you can learn from. Maybe there really is something virtuous about the warmth and acceptance of that guy who seems so "modern". Or maybe there is something to be said about the intensity of that guy who seems so "fanatical". Etc. The bottom line is, let us stop with all of the labeling and instead be open to learning from every different Jew's strengths. Whether we agree with each other's ways of doing things or not, may we never repeat Kayin's tragic mistake. Rather, let us always be open to seeing the good in the practices of our fellow Jews and become better people as a result of doing so.