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Parshas Vayeishev - Strength for Challenges; Hashem’s Rulership

By Rabbi Yosef Tropper

Posted on 11/28/18

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1) No Peaceful Talk


The brothers saw that their father loved Yosef from all the other brothers. “Vayisnu oso.”  They hated him.  “V’lo yachlu dabro l’shalom”,  and they were not able to speak peacefully (Bereishis 37:4).


Vilna Gaon points out an interesting idea on this pasuk. The Gemara (Berachos 64a) says, “Haniftar meichaveiro,” when a person is taking leave of his friend.  “Al yomar lo: Leich b’Shalom,” don’t bless him and say: Go in peace.  “Elah, Leich l’shalom,” rather, you should say to him, go to peace. Like we find that Yisro said to Moshe “Leich l’shalom”, and Moshe went and he was very successful.  But, David said to Avshalom, “Leich b’shalom,” (Shmuel II) and he went and ended up getting killed, etc. Gra says that the pasuk here is saying, “V’lo yachlu l’dabro l’shalom.”  They were not able to wish Yosef “l’shalom,” that he should go in peace as the Gemara advices.


Leich l’shalom” Insight About Life Challenges


What’s the depth here?  I believe this needs to be explained. What is the p’shat that when we leave a friend we should say, “Leich l’shalom”, and not “Leich b’shalom.” More so, it actually seems like “b’shalom” would be nicer because “b’shalom” just means you should go in peace. Immediately you should have peace.  Whereas, “l’shalom” means that you should reach peace in the future. Thus, isn’t, “Leich b’shalom” much nicer?!


The gemara in Moed Katan actually says, based on this gemara, another extension of this which is that when a person takes leave of a dead person, they should say, “Leich b’shalom”.  Go in peace. So, we see this is something that when we take leave of someone we are supposed to say “Leich l’shalom”, and when we take leave of a person that’s deceased, we say “Leich b’shalom”.


Life is full of challenges. Hashem sent our neshamos down to earth to accomplish great things. When we are giving a blessing with someone, “Leich b’shalom,” go in peace immediately, we’re basically telling them that they’re dead because their life is not going to be challenging anymore. There’s only going to be peace.  Everything’s going to be fine.  And, it’s like Yaakov Aveinu was “bikeish Yaakov leisheiv b’shalvah”.  He tried to sit in peace, and Hashem said this is not the world of sitting in peace.  Now, of course, we ask for shalom, and we ask for Hashem to take care of us.  And, we want to remove all of the distractions, but the blessing of “Leich l’shalom” is a recognition of the reality of life that life is challenging and hard, and you’re going to have to work hard, and you’re not going to be at peace right away.  


This explains the p’shat in what it means that when we take leave of someone, when we give them a blessing which is “Be on your game.  Know that life is hard. May you find ultimate success.” That’s the greatest blessing that you could give someone.  Just be prepared. And, that’s why we say, “l’shalom.” Eventually, all your actions should come together and bring you to that peace, in the final resting place.  But, in this world, it’s going to be a battle. 


Everyone likes to say the famous idea that when the heart machine shows a live working heart we see there’s ups and downs because that’s what life is all about. But, when it’s a flat line, then, G-d forbid, the person’s dead. When we are alive there are always challenges, and we want people to be prepared for that, and to the person that passed away, then we tell him: You should rest in peace, “b’shalom” because now he’s finally, hopefully, reached his final peace.


2) Lack of Peaceful Talk


I believe what is going on here is that the brothers they were not able to recognize that Yosef’s life was really a very challenging life, and that, in truth, he was going down to Egypt in order to set the stage for them coming down there and to build the groundwork for them.  He was going to be helping Klal Yisrael go to the next stage of their life which was a stage of tremendous challenge and tremendous nissayon in Mitzrayim, and, yet, the brothers withheld it from him, and did not want to acknowledge that aspect, and they were not able to give Yosef that encouragement and that validation that, in fact, the challenges in his life were bringing him to his final peace because they saw him as someone who was trying to distance them from Klal Yisrael and to cause tremendous riffs in the family. Therefore, they wanted for his life to be over now, and they didn’t want to acknowledge that really Yosef was using the challenges that were coming his way, even the mistreatment that his brothers sent him, to get closer to Hashem, and recognizing that life is not so easy.


3) Not Despite


In fact, one of my favorite explanations from Ohr Hachaim is on the pasuk when Yosef finally reveals himself, and he says, “Ani Yosef achichem asheir machartem osi Mitzrayma”.  I am Yosef your brother whom you sold me down to Egypt.  The Ohr Hachaim says that’s not what it means.  He says the word “ahsheir” doesn’t mean “that”. I am that brother that you sold. The simple meaning of the word ‘ki’ means ‘that, whom’. However, Ohr HaChaim reads it as, “I am Yosef, because of all that you did to me!” Because of all that you put me through, all the trials and tribulations of real life, of recognizing that life is “leich l’shalom” that there’s going to be challenges, and only the final step will be to find that peace.  But, that’s how I became who I was because of all the challenges that you caused me to go through, so to speak, that you were the shaliach to cause me to go through by selling me.  “Ani Yosef achichem asher machartem osi Mitzrayma.”  Because of what you put me through, the extra challenges of life that came my way, that is what created and made me into the person that I am.


New Perspective


We should recognize that all the challenges in life are going towards, “Leich l’shalom”.  That the Rebono Shel Olam has great plans for us.  That he gives us a life of nissayon to bring out our great potential in who we are and to hold tight and to recognize that Hashem is always with us in all of our nissyonos. That’s the purpose of nissayon to train us to turn to Hashem and to recognize that “ilmaleigh Hakadosh Baruch Hu azro ein yachol lo” and to bring down Sheim Shamayim in this world.  We should be zocheh.


4) The Brothers Statement


The brothers said to Yosef (Bereishis 37:8), “Hameloch timloch aleinu?”  Do you think that you’re going to be king over us?  “Im mashol timshol banu?”  Will you rule over us? Why the double expression here? Gra is always extremely meticulous to explain word differences and their significance. What is the difference between “melech” and “mosheil”.


Gra says a famous thing here. Melech, a king, is someone that is appointed through the approval of the nation. Everyone chooses to make him a king, and they king him over him, and it’s a willful following.  But, a mosheil is someone who rules against your will, a dictator. The brothers told Yosef, you will never rule over us, not willfully nor against our wills.


This distinction is why it says, “Ki laHashem Hamelucha”. For Klal Yisrael, we appoint Hashem willingly over us, He is our Melech. But “u’mosheil bagoyim”. Hashem is the ruler fo the goyim, even against their will. When mashiach comes it says, “V’haya Hashem l’melech al kol ha’aretz”, then everyone will recognize and accept Hashem.


Chosson Like Melech


Based on this, a lot of people like to explain that when it says, “chosson domeh l’melech”, the Pirkei Elazar.  The chosson is like a king.  So, it’s “v’lo mosheil”.  He has to be someone that works together with the kallah to build the house in a beautiful way.  We should all be zocheh.


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Rabbi Yosef Tropper is a rabbi and psychotherapist. Subscribe at ParshaThemes.com