Posted on 03/10/25
On the fourteenth of Adar, we celebrate Purim. The principal mitzvot of the holiday are reading Megillat Esther, giving gifts to the poor, sending packages of food and drink to friends, and holding a Purim feast. But the holiday includes many other customs, too, such as spinning noisemakers, eating hamantaschen, and, of course, dressing up in fancy costumes. The Lubavitcher Rebbe called on us to learn an important lesson from the costumes:
“When we see someone dressed up on Purim as a frightening animal or a clown, it doesn’t occur to us to be angry, or afraid, or to take that person seriously. After all, it’s just a costume. But in everyday life we frequently meet people who seem to be walking around in disguise. One is disguised as someone arrogant, another as someone vulgar, and a third as someone apathetic – but what we see is not a true reflection of who these people really are.
“Sometimes our children also disguise themselves in a similar fashion and exhibit negative behaviors. In all these cases, we need to look deeper into their inner purity and goodness, and reinforce it. We can even help them to remove the inauthentic costumes that they sometimes wear. We have seen many times how, in a moment of truth, the true essence of the person underneath is revealed when they remove their costume.
“The Jews of the Megilla disguised themselves as completely assimilated into the culture of ancient Persia, but when faced with Haman’s decree to exterminate them, they were reminded of who they were and their true identity was suddenly revealed.
“We also wear a disguise sometimes. We need to look upon each other with love and understanding, knowing that whatever objectionable behavior we may see is not a reflection of the person within. We must take this awareness with us from Purim and keep it fresh in our minds throughout the year.”
A Revolutionary View of Happiness
At the beginning of Megillat Esther, Ahaseurus holds an extravagant feast that is nothing more than an exercise in showing off. It is a celebration of silver, gold, and alcohol. In contrast to this mistaken and empty worldview of happiness, at the end of the Megilla, Esther brings the nation to a state of “light and happiness, joy and glory” (Est. 8:15). How does Esther express her joy? After the feast, she teaches us the meaning of true happiness through the mitzvot we perform until today:
First, happiness within the family circle – a festive meal that is an intimate family gathering and not just for show.
Second, happiness through community connections – sending packages of food and drink to one another to strengthen social ties.
And finally, helping those in need, caring for others and sending gifts to those who have less.
That is how we rejoice.
The equation of what makes us happy is completely reversed. Instead of conspicuous consumption and self-aggrandizement, we look outside of ourselves and learn that giving to those us increases happiness. Instead of thinking that the more we receive, the happier we will be, Esther teaches us that the more we give, the happier we will be.
The Right Choice
There’s one verse in Megillat Esther that we should take with us into all areas of life. At the height of the crisis, when a decree of destruction threatens the entire Jewish people, Mordechai asks Queen Esther: “And who knows if it is not for just such a moment that you reached this royal position?”
In other words, he was saying to her: “The fact that you were crowned as queen wasn't by chance. Everything you've been through has brought you to this position, and perhaps this is your moment to act and help. It’s precisely you, precisely here, precisely now. Use all your strength, choose your mission, be on the right side of history.
Our commentators write that this phrase applies to everyone, even in less dramatic circumstances: A teacher facing a struggling student who has failed over and over can give him confidence and faith in himself with just a few words. A military commander can save a soldier who has given up on everything and motivate him. A boss can notice his employee; and of course, parents, family members, and friends can leverage their relationship to help loved ones.
We didn't just end up where we are, with our talents and abilities for no reason. We need to look at reality, seek what is still not fixed in the world, and ask ourselves: “Who knows whether it is not for just such a moment that I have reached this position?”
Parashat Ki Tisa: Fragile, Handle with Care
In our parashah, Moses was instructed to carve out two new tablets to replace the first ones that he had shattered because of the sin of the Golden Calf. The second set, which had the same Ten Commandments engraved on them, signified the start of a new era of reconciliation.
The new era, however, did not erase the past and from now the Children of Israel would continue their journey through the wilderness carrying both the shattered and the whole tablets, which our sages say lay side by side in the Ark. This is not simply a technical description of their physical location, but a spiritual teaching. Wherever the Children of Israel wander, they will carry with them their sin and forgiveness, the shattered and the whole. The the same applies to any individual who has sinned and repented.
Cracks were formed in the idyllic existence, but from a certain perspective the new reality is even more whole. Those who have overcome crises or downturns will testify that they emerge stronger and more mature. Life’s journey will continue, but one now possesses the knowledge that it is more complex, with ups and downs, and it is the memory of the failures which gives the strength to carry on. There is nothing more whole than a broken heart.