Posted on 10/10/24
Baltimore, MD - Oct. 10, 2024 - It was reflective. It was meditative. It was transcendental. The commemoration of October 7th on Monday night at Ner Tamid was a beautiful community event that gave voice to the many feelings we experienced this past year. As Rabbi Motzen welcomed us with his words, “when there is tragedy, one just wants to be with family. And that’s what we are doing tonight.” That is indeed what it felt like. Sitting together with members of the Baltimore community , it felt like we were sitting with family; feeling together, remembering together, crying together, and singing together. The room was set up in a circle shape with rows of concentric circles, the middle left open for the musicians who sang and encouraged us to sing with them. Rabbi Silber, who organized the event, was joined by Rabbi Motzen, the host, along with Rabbi Goldberger, Rabbi Marwick, Rabbi Richter, Rabbi Rose and Rabbi Teichman. This seemed to be the subconscious theme of the evening. There was Da’as Torah who we turn to for guidance, augmented by music that uplifted our souls. And indeed as one of the Rabbonim stated, music is the language of the soul. Deeply reflective of our pain and our longing for this war to end, for our hostages to come home, for Mashiach to arrive, the melodies both in the instrumental form and in the vocal form by these talented musicians and singers were heart stirring and inspiring.
This gathering gave the feeling of wanting connection with each and every Jew and seeing the good in each yid that Rabbi Goldberger said is how the Rambam explains one of the yud gimmel Ikrei Emunah of davening for Mashiach. This message of connection was also expounded upon by Rabbi Marwick as well. A highlight of the evening was when Rabbi Goldberger sang his special niggun and pulled into dance the attending Rabbonim. It was a dance of giants. As Rabbi Teichman shared with me what the Tolna Rebbe said when one cannot go to the mikveh he should get together with other Jews. When in the company of yidden, it is like being in the Mikveh, and that is what the Rebbe would do.
The evening concluded with a first-hand account of the actual day of Shiva B’October from a commanding officer, Eli Skaist. In his very moving account through song, we heard his story as he strummed on his guitar. We marveled at his bravery and strength. We connected to that vulnerability and humanness. We sat in spellbound silence, listening reverently as he brought us back to that time and place, now sacred and sanctified.
To say it’s been a long year is the understatement of the year. Our world has changed, much as it did after 9/11, however as many have remarked, it has changed us on a visceral level. For so many of us, for our People, we have had the shift within us of what it means to be a Jew. Whether that’s giving more meaning to our mitzvah observance or making the first and crucial step in identifying Jewish pride, the change has been transformative and contagious. We have all seen the video clips, read the moving stories, listened to interviews of the thousands, dare I say, of our brethren who have made that leap of faith and embrace their Jewish heritage and our Torah. It is evocative. It is awesome.
And yet, as I write this, I am still so very sad. The pain of what we went through as individuals with so many losses in lives, or limbs, homes and emotional stability, concurrently with our Nations’ suffering is staggering to consider. It still makes me shudder and I cannot fathom of how those who live in Israel, never mind the families of the hostages and those killed, do so on a daily basis.
I am blessed to live where I live, and maybe with the somewhat false impression that Baltimore is OK. However, I am not naïve. I am the daughter of Holocaust survivors. I am a proud first generation American, but oh how I yearn to be an Israeli citizen. My unease of what I used to call home here in the US hovers in the background. I get busy with life, my family, my job. I don’t focus on it. I can’t focus on it. I need to be a wife, a mother, a daughter, Morah, and of course a friend. I am grateful to all the people in my life for supporting me when the tears slip out. Still today, even a year later. Recently I found out that Hirsch Goldberg Polin, HYD, had his posthumous birthday. Mine was the day after his. Another painful reminder. My dear cousin who lives in Jerusalem devotes her time and graphic design talent toward making the posters and fliers for our hostages. Her family and friends are soldiers. She is witness to the pain of losing a loved one through her neighbors and friends. She is tired. She is scared. She told me to delay my visit. I send her love and tefillah through our whatsapp messages. Our conversations in Hebrew make me feel even more connected. She reassures me from the ma’amad last week when I called after Iran decided to have their fireworks. Rebecca went to do her grocery shopping before Rosh HaShanah and all the shoppers had to run to the shelter. I asked her to tell all the people with her that here in America we are davening and thinking of them and I am hugging each and every one of them. They laugh. This lifts my spirits.
Indeed we are sitting in concentric circles, whether it’s in a community gathering or across the ocean in a bomb shelter. We are all at different places in that circle but we all face the center. That Center is the Jewish People and serving Hashem, each one of us from our own unique vantage point with our individual strengths and talents. That is the beauty of the circle. That is the glory of Am Yisroel Chai. It is what keeps me going and reminds me of G-d’s promise of Netzach Yisroel Lo Yeshaker. It is what I tell my preschoolers that Hashem never sleeps; Hinei Lo Yanum V’Lo Yishan for indeed He is the Shomer Yisroel. Lo Ira Ra, Ki Ata Imadi; I am not afraid for You are with me.
I pray that He is smiling at us from within that circle, for it’s in that center that one gets the full picture.
Wishing everyone a Gmar Chasima Tova and wishes for a happy, healthy New Year.
May we continue singing as we await the Geulah.
May it come soon in our days.
L’Iluy Nishmas the Kedoshim. L”Zechus our hostages and R”Sh for all those injured.