Posted on 08/18/24
Boys look forward to and enjoy color war! Each game is counted for points towards victory. As a division head I enjoy watching these games. There are different challenges than the boys are used to from the rest of the summer and it’s great to see boys shine in a different light.
On day 1 of color war, my division played dodgeball, blue against red. The game was going great until red had only one team member, Simcha, while blue had 10! I noticed that this was the same boy who had been the “chicken” in the back hiding from everyone. One after another the balls were thrown around, and the player in red kept on getting his opponent out. With his team cheering on the side, Simcha overcame nine out of ten opponents. The boys couldn’t believe what they were seeing.
This wasn’t the first time I had seen this kind of play in games of dodgeball. The question was bothering me: what changed? Why suddenly was Simcha able to take on his opponents? I believe the answer is simple. When he realized that this was on him, he stepped up and found the strength he didn’t know existed within him. There was no longer anyone else to rely on, so Simcha himself played the game.
As parents, we need to advocate for our kids and to do everything to help them succeed, but we need them to play the game. When they face a challenge, whether in school or camp, we need to be supportive but we need to “trust the process” and allow our children to overcome the challenges albeit while we are there for them cheering loudly from the sidelines.
A question we need to ponder is, do we allow our children to learn to overcome obstacles or do we face obstacles for them?
"Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child." We need our children to have these coping skills because, at the end of the day, they will be playing in the game called life!
Rabbi Moshe Dov Heber is a Middle School Rebbi in Yeshiva K’tana of Waterbury, the Director of the Mishmar Evening Program in Waterbury and Division Head in Camp Romimu. He is a frequent contributor to various publications on areas related to education as well as speaks publicly on various topics. Rabbi Heber can be reached via email at mdheber@ykwaterbury.org.