This article is adapted from my newly released sefer, “What Can I Say... Today?” (The sefer can be ordered online at Feldheim.com and is coming to Baltimore this week, b’ezras Hashem!) All halachos mentioned herein are complex and part of a larger framework. The purpose of the article is to raise awareness of these essential halachos. Hence, one should not draw any practical conclusions without first consulting a Rav.

Over the course of writing the sefer, I had the privilege of submitting questions to Rav Yitzchak Berkovits shlit”a, one of the leading poskim in the halachos of Shmiras Halashon, and receiving responses. I was also given access to other responsa of Rav Berkovits regarding these halachos. The following are questions and answers that were reviewed by Rav Berkovits personally.

1. Question: Can I submit negative feedback regarding an online merchant or product? Does it make a difference if the store is owned by Jews or akum (non-Jews)?

Answer: In order to post anything negative about another person or his merchandise, you must fulfill all of the conditions of to’eles. There definitely is a to’eles. Suppose one would purchase a product that causes him no end of grief, and he only discovers a list of people who had the same problem after a great deal of troubleshooting. He never would have purchased that product had he seen that list first!

The following are some of the issues that you must consider:

  1. One’s words will cause damage to the person (which is included in the issur of loshon hora, and also the issur of gorem nezek lechatchilah), so the damage must be halachically warranted. If it is not (where the rules of to’eles have not been accounted for), it is forbidden. (It is forbidden, at least lechatchilah, even to cause damage to akum.)
  2. One must be entirely factual, and not exaggerate even slightly. Thus, one must also avoid using opinionated negative words like terrible or awful.
  3. One must be motivated by the need to help others avoid the pain that he experienced, and not motivated by a desire for revenge.
  4. One must be absolutely certain that his assessment of the product or service is accurate. Believing that the product line as a whole is bad just because yours was defective is, to say the least, unscientific. If you have reason to believe that you will be one of the only ones rating the product, it would not be a good idea. Moreover, even if there are many negative reviews, one must consider the possibility that only those with bad experiences are posting reviews. (I would hope that any review readers consider this possibility too!)
  5. Similarly, one must consider the possibility that people will see the negative feedback on a product as a reflection of the merchant. As with most cases of to’eles, one must avoid causing more damage to the merchant than is warranted by halachah. Thus, one must be certain to state that the issue pertains to the product, and not to the merchant (if this is indeed the case).
  6. Regarding rating the product (such as giving it one or two stars out of five), one can rate it the amount that it deserves — but he must be sure to back up that rating with facts. I would hope that consumers understand that the rating is completely arbitrary (there are no rules that govern the rating, after all), and they would read the basis of the rating before coming to any conclusions.

If all of the conditions of to’eles are fulfilled, it is right that you post the review.

2. Question: What is the proper way to respond when asked a general question about middos (character traits) (relating to shidduchim) when the individual does have certain moderate character flaws? Is it correct to respond that “middos is a general term, and the questioner should be more specific”?

Answer: The best way to respond to general questions is that everything is good. Unless the question is specific enough and something is abnormally wrong, one responds that all is well.[1]

3. Question: Is there a kulah to tell neutral information to someone who has an unfounded personal bias and will view it as negative? For instance, if the listener had a bad experience with a lawyer and now dislikes all lawyers, may one tell him that a certain individual is a lawyer if no actual harm will come from it? One may argue that it is not considered a g’nai (flaw) when such a belief is objectively unreasonable. In addition, it is likely that the subject does not mind if such information is related. What is the Rav’s opinion?

Answer: If the stature of the person is lowered in the eyes of the listener, this would be considered damage — enough to render the statement loshon hora. It is not relevant whether the g’nai is accurate or not.


[1]. See 8.D.6 and footnote 426. See also footnote 427.