Nevertheless, there is a problem in our society. Though the ability to connect is amazing, the ability to say things that are considered "over the line" becomes even greater. It is so much harder to criticize someone in person. It is so much harder to tell a person something negative about them to their face. Accordingly, when forced to do things in person we tend to think it over many times before deciding to say it or not say something.

With the ability to write a quick text and hit “send”, there unfortunately are many, many hurtful, snide and stupid comments that come out because we don't need to "face" the person.

(By the way I am speaking to myself as well. I am guilty and must work on this)

There are many aspects of this topic. However, I want to speak specifically to something that is very sensitive. Unfortunately, there have been many tragedies in our communities over the past few years. People passing away suddenly from illness, fires, car accidents, drowning, overdoses, etc. No matter what the situation, there is a family that the deceased leaves behind that is destroyed, devastated, broken, depressed, etc. Someone they love was just ripped from them their lives.

When an uncommon death occurs, the normal reaction is shock and then speculation of what happened. For example, when we were sitting shiva for my little brother, who was killed in a car accident while my mom was driving. Someone came in and asked my other brother if my mother was at fault in the accident and if she got a ticket. I honestly don't think the person meant to ask the question. We took it very lightly and joked around about it. But for real! Comments like that especially when it's so raw can be very hurtful to a family and honestly there is NO place for them. I have a friend who was at a funeral of a young teenager who died. Someone came over to my friend AT THE FUNERAL and said, "we need to use this as a lesson to teach our youth that drugs are very dangerous." Whether the person is right or wrong you can decide for yourself. But REALLY?!?! At the funeral??

These comments were made in person. What people write online can and does get very interesting. 

Recently, there was a horrible event that took place in Virginia Beach. An event that is impossible to comprehend. The news had reported that there were "red flag" warnings on the beach because of dangerous conditions. After the child, who the Rebbe went to save, was brought to safety, the search was on to find the Rebbe who drifted away. News spread like wildfire. Tehillim groups were created. Much of the world was storming the gates of heaven. Yet there were those few people who decided to take it upon themselves to comment and publicly ask why these boys were there during red flag time. Someone asked why camps take campers to water activities outside of water parks. Mind you, the helicopters were still in the air searching! The rescue teams were still searching! And no less than 7 hours into the ordeal you had people calling out, judging and airing their opinions to the world! 

REALLY?!?! 

I'm not saying none of us were thinking any of this. But most of us weren't SAYING that. Most of us realized that there was a horrific situation at hand. There was a family that was on the verge of losing a son, spouse, parent and sibling and yet there's always those people that take it upon themselves to be Sherlock Holmes and decide that this was totally irresponsible and stupid.

And it got worse.

When the Rebbe was found there were still those people who were doing their thing. Within 45minutes of finding him! For example, via Facebook, "Baruch Dayan HaEmes. So sad and unnecessary. Ppl have to have the proper gear on when swimming." 

What was the thought process there? The man was just found! This family has been destroyed! The man is not even in their possession yet! And this person decided it was very important to comment ON THE POST THAT REPORTED FINDING HIM to point out the potential negligence!

I am not here to discuss the technicalities of the situation. All I am saying is a) that it is not for ME to judge - there are people well above my pay grade who can deal with that and b) if you’re going to judge a situation and be critical, even if you are 100% correct, there is a time and a place to do that.  Not while the helicopter is still searching! Not at the funeral of a young child who died! Not at a shiva house in front of the grieving family!

I own a marketing company. I spend majority of my day on social media speaking to clients and prospective clients. I see a lot. The amount of senseless posts, comments, blogs, etc., is astounding yet not surprising. You can voice your opinion whenever and however and it’s your first amendment right to do so. But when you take a step back and realize what is really going on you will see that you probably are thinking the same thing some people write. The difference is that you decided to keep it in, and they decided not to.

In conclusion, what I am trying to point out is not that social media is bad. I think it’s amazing! If you want to use it to fight with people about sports, politics, design, etc., enjoy! (I do that actually when I’m bored, not saying it's the right thing.) But when it comes to real issues like tragedy where people are legitimately hurt, think at least 10 times before you comment with your "intelligent" advice or remark.

May we never have to deal with tragedy again in our communities.