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Parshas VaYichi - Curses or Blessings? Judging the Yetzer Hara

By R' Shaya Gross, z'l

Posted on 12/24/15

Parshas HaShavua Divrei Torah sponsored by
Dr. Shapsy Tajerstein, DPM - Podiatry Care.
(410) 788-6633

[Ed. Note] Out of the respect and recognition of the impact made by longtime BJL friend and contributor, Reb Shaya Gross, z’l, we will maintain a living memoriam to Shaya through the sweet words and thoughtful insights of  his Divrei Torah. BJL readers will remember his weekly column on the Parsha and on various Torah ideas and concepts. These meaningful words will help us remember this special young man who will be sorely missed and for those who did not merit to know him, this will be the most appropriate way for them to become familiar with who he was.


This week’s Parsha contains the blessings that Yaakov gave his sons before he died. A close look at the Pasukim seemingly reveals that Reuvain, Shimon, and Levi did not receive any blessings. They were rebuked. And yet the Torah tells us that Yaakov, ‘blessed each according to his appropriate blessing’, clearly teaching us that everyone was blessed?


 I think the answer is that rebuke is not only not a curse, but [at times] can be the greatest blessing we receive. We are all born with faults that we need to work on and fix, but human nature is that most people aren’t clued in to what their own faults are, as they rationalize away all their actions and midos. It’s very easy to find faults in other, but much harder to find them in ourselves. So Yaakov giving rebuke to Reuvain, Shimon, and Levi clued them in as to what the root of their mistakes were, so that they would be able to rectify theirs issues; truly an important blessing. 


With this understanding I think we can now appreciate a Mishna in Avos. The Mishna tells us that ‘One should make for himself a Rebbi…. and judge everyone favorably’. What is the connection between these two seemingly disparate teachings?


I think the answer is, because once you have a Rebbi who clues you in on your own shortcomings, you then realize that even YOU YOURSELF are not a perfect, hence then you can judge other people favorably realizing that everyone is born with issues that need to be worked on!


May we all always consult with our mentors and introspect ourselves, to figure out what our issues are so that we can then work on them, improve on them and grow closer to Hashem.


Dvar Torah II Judging the Yetzer Hara


On a similar topic, the Gemara in Megilla tells us three steps in our battle against the Yetzer Hara. Number one JUDGE HIM. Number two judge him honestly, and number three overcome him. We understand the meaning and need of overcoming the Yetzer Hara but what does it mean to judge him or to judge him honestly, and why the repetition?? I suggest the understanding is the following. With sincere people the modus operandi of the yetzer hara is to convince them that the wrong thing he wants them to do is the right thing to do-a mitzva. He blurs the lines and boundaries, and clouds our intellect with confusion doubts and uncertainties. Hence tells us the Gemara, step number one is to JUGDGE HIM, i.e. judge the act he wants us to do by weighing the two sides of the equation and really doing our best to figure out what Hashem wants from us. Step number two is judge him honestly. Perhaps this means if on our own we couldn’t figure out the emes and are still confused so then take the question/issue to a chacham, a mentor, someone wise with no self-interest, and ask him/her what to do. That way we will know the truth about what the right thing to do is. Finally once one knows what the right thing to do is, then and only then comes step number three, overcome the yetzer hara, as one can’t overcome the yetzer hara if the boundaries of right and wrong are blurred.


Part of the Hester Panim of Galus in which Hashem hides his face is that it is much harder to know what he truly wants as we no longer have prophets who could and would  tell each person what his/her individual mission in life was. Now we have to struggle on our own to figure it out and go to wise people and heed their advice.


The very next Gemara in Megilla is the Gemara about Esther going into Achasveirosh. What’s the connection? I suggest that Esther going to Achashveirosh is the prime example for all of us of this phenomena; a yid in Galus truly confused about what the will of Hashem is, and listening to the chacham [Mordechai] and doing the act anyway, even though it seemed wrong, tragic, and in this case even evil.  Here Esther a married woman is being asked to go on her own volition and live with the evil gentile king!  Esther is prophetess yet when she is about to enter Achashveirosh’s room her Ruach Hakodesh leaves her. Can there seemingly be any greater sign then that, that it is the wrong thing to enter! Yet her emunas chachamim [faith in the wise] is unparalleled and after a teffila to Hashem she enters, ready to give up her life to do the will of the Tzadik for the sake of her people!


May our discussion of Esther’s greatness be a source of merit for all of us that whenever we have a dilemma of what the right thing to do is and we are truly confused, may we have the strength to follow the Gemara’s three steps of weighing in our mind what the right thing to do is, making sure it is the emes by seeking out guidance from our mentor, and then finally overcoming the challenge.