Login  

Register  

Parshas Chayei Sarah: Proper Balance

By R' Shaya Gross, z'l

Posted on 11/04/15

Parshas HaShavua Divrei Torah sponsored by
Dr. Shapsy Tajerstein, DPM - Podiatry Care.
(410) 788-6633

[Ed. Note] Out of the respect and recognition of the impact made by longtime BJL friend and contributor, Reb Shaya Gross, z’l, we will maintain a living memoriam to Shaya through the sweet words and thoughtful insights of his Divrei Torah. BJL readers will remember his weekly column on the Parsha and on various Torah ideas and concepts. These meaningful words will help us remember this special young man who will be sorely missed and for those who did not merit to know him, this will be the most appropriate way for them to become familiar with who he was.


Rav Moshe Feinstein asked, once Eliezer witnessed the water rise for Rivka, an open miracle that proved that she was obviously very righteous, what then was the purpose of testing her with her getting water for him and the animals??


 Based on the following I heard from my dear friend Rav Yonah Sklare I think we can answer his question.


The Seforim bring down that men are more mekushar [connected] to the attribute of chesed, and women are more mekushar to the attribute of Gevura. On a simple level chesed  is loving kindness and Gevura is being strict and exacting...  On a deeper level chesed is more about inspiration and of being focused and abstract which is why men study and learn in depth the abstract concepts of Torah whereas Gevura is being more practical and pragmatic as we see ladies can juggle lots of different tasks together like taking care of all the kids and household needs etc...


One exception to this was Yitzchak. Yitzchak had the attribute of Gevura. Therefore his wife Rivkah had the mida of chesed. [I think we see from here that it’s very important that husband and wife have in some regards different midos/personalities in order for there to be a healthy balance in their children. {Maybe this is one of the reasons why you can't marry a relative like a sibling because they tend to be very similar.]


There are 3 times in Tanach where a Shidduch took place by a a spring of water. The first one was Yitzchak's shidduch with Rivka, the second was Yaakov and Rochel, and the third was Moshe and Tzipporah. In two of the three [Yaakov and Moshe] it was the man helping the woman. Whereas by Rivka, she was helping Eliezer. Why the discrepancy? The reason for that is very simple, usually it’s the man with the mida of chesed, so by Yaakov and Moshe they did the chesed. Whereas by Rivka/Yitzchak they had the opposite midos, Yitzchak had Gevura and Rivka had Chesed, so she was the one helping and doing the chesed!


 With this perhaps we can answer Rav Moshe Feinstein's question. He asked that once Eliezer saw that the miracle that the water rose for Rivka, an open miracle that proved that she was obviously very righteous, what then was the purpose of testing her with her getting water for him and the animals??
The answer is, Eliezer realized she was a tzadeikis, but in order to be the proper shidduch for Yitzchak she would need to have the mida of chesed.
Hence he tested her to see if she was a true baalas chesed!